I have taken an extended break from the journal again.  That seems to be a pattern with me. Anyway i am hoping to get started back to it. Master has not pressed me on it. Perhaps he is tired of having to remind me all the time, perhaps he just did not want to feel like he had to force it from me. I have fond myself again and i am in much better spirits. Perhaps this is because i am doing a little better in school and things at home are not so dreadful. Or maybe i am just handling it better for awhile at least. I just have to remember to do what i need to do or my mind constantly reminds me and nags me till i am at the point of just breaking down. I feel the fog has been lifted from me, and now i can concentrate on living again, instead of allowing my spirit to wilt and die. I think that is why i write her, It is a release for me, a bit a self therapy. It is also for Master, so he can know what is going on with me. It is not always appropriate to just great him at the door with my life is in shambles. I want to stop doing that, it is not productive. I need to change my pattern of thought and be more optimistic instead of feeling sorry for myself. I need to get over people that i have cared about and then just had them walk away, i need to erase the imprint that some have left on my soul. That is not my life now, i do not live at that place, in that house anymore. I locked the door long ago , so why do i keep going back and visiting. It only allows the ghosts to haunt me, and that takes control away from my Master and gives it back to someone who never was worthy of the control in the first place. Enough Said, Or i will start Rambling.