Master and i spent time together  in rose tonight. It all started out nice or so i ithought at the time. We were both joking around, till it started being serious.  I pretended i was jealous when i was not really. That technicality caused Master to put aside everything W/we are and tell me to chose him or chose to be jealous. It sounded like an an  Ultimatim . He says it was not, but i am not so sure. I believed Master when he said i would be is slave forever, but now I can very well see he does not really believe that to be true. Maybe i am making i mountian out of a mole hill. I just expected that Master would continually try to improve my submission to him rather then give it back to me. I need his to understand i need to give up this control, or i face losing who i am .